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Ifs, Ands & Buts

Recently I reread A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink. It’s a good read about why right-brainers will rule the future. The future, really today, is the “conceptual age.” Pink discusses the “six senses” that one uses to build a whole new mind to thrive in this conceptual age: design, story, symphony, empathy, play and meaning. While I don’t necessarily subscribe to his premise in total – I believe we need to engage both parts of our brain – he offers lots of great exercises to get your right brain working. And even though many fiber artists are right-brained, you’ll find the exercises fun and expanding.

Onto ifs, ands & buts. In his discussion on meaning, one of Pink’s suggestions for creating more meaning in your life is to replace the word “but” with “and.” He says that “buts” can create roadblocks for creating more meaning in your life and suggests creating a list of what you are trying to accomplish and what’s in your way. Here are a few examples:

“I’d like to get these new patterns finalized, but I’ve got to pick the kids up after school.”

“I really need to create new classes, but I don’t have time to work on them.”

“I am happy with the design of my new quilt, but the color is off.”

Now replace each “but” in the sentence with “and:”

“I’d like to get these new patterns finalized, and I’ve got to pick the kids up after school.”

“I really need to create new classes, and I don’t have time to work on them.”

“I am happy with the design of my new quilt, and the color is off.”

Two things happen. First you haven’t negated the phrase before the “and.” When you use “but,” you devalued all that came before it. Second, you have, as Pink says, moved from “excuse-making mode and into “problem-solving mode.” This opens your mind to look for possibilities. It’s easy to see that when you read the sentence with the “and” your mind starts to think of how you could solve your dilemma.

In the first example, you might say, “I’d like to get these new patterns finalized and I’ve got to pick the kids up after school. So I need to make arrangements for someone else to pick them us so I can work.”

In the second example, “I really need to create new classes, and I don’t have time to work on them. So I need to look at what I can eliminate or delegate.”

In the third example, “I am happy with the design of my new quilt, and the color is off. So I need to pull some colors from the stash and see what I can change.”

I also think the same thing can happen when you use in the words “if only,” as in this example:

“I really need to create new classes, if only I had time to work on them.”

“If only” negates creating classes and leaves you in excuse-making mode. And, while you can’t make a direct swap with “and,” changing the last part will move you into problem-solving mode. Try it with “I really need to create new classes, and I need to find time to work on them.”

Next time you find yourself saying “but” or “if only,” give “and” a try. It’s made a difference for me. Let me know how it works for you.

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2 Responses to “Ifs, Ands & Buts”


  1. Daniel Pink said:

    Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed the book in general and that exercise in particular. It’s one of my favorites, too.
    Cheers,
    Dan Pink


  2. Marsha McCloskey said:

    Nice to be reminded of the importance of “and” instead of “but.” It was an improvisational theater exercise years ago. We had to learn to take the concept that was given and add to it in a positive way; to say “yes, and…” instead of “yes, but…”

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