TwitterPinterestInstagramGoogle PlusMembers login

Posts Tagged ‘boundaries’

Brunch with Brené

Wednesday, January 24th, 2018

 

Yesterday I was lucky to attend a church service at the Washington National Cathedral where Brené Brown delivered the sermon. It was followed by a forum, a conversation between Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde and Brené. (I feel like I know her well enough to just use her first name!)

It was a magical experience from the setting to the content. I took lots of notes and want to share some of what I heard and learned.

We tend to hang around with people who believe like us.

Brené referred to this as sorting into bunkers. These people think like us, and they hate the same groups of people that we do. We don’t even necessarily know or like these people, but we have “common enemy intimacy.” That is not true belonging.

Read more…

Do You Have Self-Care Practice?

Wednesday, November 16th, 2016

self-care

Have you ever thought about how important it is to take time for yourself on a regular basis? Do you connect this with the health of your business?

This week I’m on a “business vacation.” It’s a retreat with friends in the business. We are all taking time to work on our business, and we are all taking time for our own self-care. We’ve treated ourselves with nice home prepared meals. We are sewing for ourselves. We’re enjoying the beach setting with walks on the beach and yoga/stretching inside with views of the water. We have hired a masseuse to come three times during the week. That is really taking care of yourself!

This is great for this week and we’re all supporting each other. What happens when we go back to our regular lives? I, for one, admit that while I might give self-care attention, I can get wrapped up in what’s going on and not make it the priority I should. And, when I don’t take care of myself, I’m not at my best when I work on my business. If you are in the same place, here are some thoughts.

Read more…

Boundaries: Can You Set Them? Can You Keep Them?

Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

I’ll admit right up front I could be a better boundary setter. Well maybe not a setter, but rather a keeper. I can set those boundaries; I just don’t always stick to them. How about you?

When several of my private coaching clients asked about boundaries, I knew it was time for a post on this. We are all tested, whether that’s in our personal lives or our business lives.

What boundaries are might be the first part of the discussion. If we own property, we understand the concept of boundaries. This is where my property begins and what I am responsible for. It’s the same with personal boundaries. It’s where you begin and your sense of responsibility begins. Your business will have boundaries, too. Here are some guidelines for setting boundaries.

  1. Become self-aware. When you get into particular situations, what happens to you? Do you become anxious, lose energy, feel unsure, flee, fight, etc. Being aware of how you respond is the first step to learning to set boundaries that work for you.
  2. Start with simple boundaries or limits. This could take the form of setting your work hours, saying no to extra commitments (or even learning how to say no), placing limits on taking rush orders, only taking personal calls at night, etc.
  3. Once you set your boundaries, you don’t need to defend your position. It just is. If someone questions you on it, you just repeat your position.
  4. Stay committed to your course. If you give in this once, you’ll find yourself giving in again and again. You end up feeling guilty if you don’t. (I think that’s a woman people-pleasing guilt issue.) People will start to ignore your needs. And, you end up back in those feelings I outlined in number 1 above.

You know I like to talk about creating systems in your business. Systems support the business and let you get more done. If you think about it, boundaries are really just systems that help you live your life the best way. They put you in charge of your life. They also help you manage your business the best way for you.

If you want to read more on boundaries, I found a wonderful little book. It’s called It’s called Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

If you aren’t a boundary setter, make a commitment to start this week. Set some standards or boundaries for yourself. Just one boundary and build on that. It will make a big difference.

Please share your experiences with boundaries and what you did about them below.

 

Copyright © Morna McEver Enterprises LLC, All rights reserved.
Reproduction of any kind is expressly prohibited without written authorization
Designed and hosted by GloDerWorks

Entries (RSS) and Comments (RSS).