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Archive for the ‘mindset’ Category

Can you handle it?

Wednesday, December 6th, 2017
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Several weeks back I had a conversation with a colleague about her distress over a poor review of her book on Amazon. “But I want everyone to love the book,” she said, really meaning, “I want everyone to love me.” She believed that if someone did not like the book, they did not like her.

I think we can all fall into that trap, wanting to be liked. I can remember exactly when I decided I didn’t care if everyone liked me. I was working in the offices of an ad agency, and one of the men in the office told me he didn’t like me. Well, how could that be? I am truly likable. Then I thought about it and realized that I did not really like him. He had poor work habits, always sloughing his work onto someone else, and I generally did not like being around him. Why did I think I cared anyhow?

It is just not possible to avoid criticism, especially in our social media world. And, hey, it does hurt sometimes. And, you can learn to handle it.

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Are you confident?

Wednesday, November 29th, 2017

 

When someone asks you about how confident you are about something, do you cringe and second-guess or question your abilities? And then self-doubt starts to set in. You feel stuck or paralyzed about taking action. You may be even one of those people who end up in a downward spiral to the point of giving up.

I feel confident about a lot of my creative skills. This Thanksgiving, I decided I wanted to make and decorate a cheesecake for dessert with our meal. The impetus came from a friend who made his living in the wedding industry. He had recently retired and shared a recipe. This recipe was good. So good, in fact, it paid his mortgage payment each month. And this cheesecake had a buttercream icing that was piped beautifully. Do I have those skills? Absolutely not. Did I feel a bit intimidated by the task? Definitely. Did self-doubt set in? Of course.

This is a just small situation, but it can play out every day in larger ways. Giving a speech to a large group for the first time or the 10th time. Entering your art in a show. Sharing a portion of your book in public. How did you get from feeling doubt to taking action to building confidence?  Here are some ideas.

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Are you waiting to be rescued?

Wednesday, October 18th, 2017

Do you remember the hit “Rescue Me?” I was listening to it on YouTube the other day. Depending on how old you are, the tune was recorded by Fontella Bass, Madonna, or Daughtry. While the lyrics are different, the theme is the same. The subject of the song is in need of rescue, rescue by someone else.

While you are not looking for a someone to save you in the terms of the song, do you have other instances where you are looking for a rescue? I will give you a few examples. Are you looking for someone to take over your books and then tell you what to do with your business? Are you delegating  some of your work and then not following up or keeping track of the work? Did you fall behind preparing for the next show and are scrambling for someone to get you out of the jam? When something doesn’t always work the way you want, do you look for someone to blame? If only she had ….

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Are you ready to step into your power?

Wednesday, September 20th, 2017

 

Do you toot your own horn? Or are you like many women – yes, it’s mostly women – who are reluctant to talk about their successes and talents? You probably don’t have any problem talking about the success of your loved ones. Why is it that we have that problem with ourselves?

This has come up over the years and again last week with one of my clients. Sophie was reluctant about sharing her successes with her work on social media. She felt she was bragging and didn’t want to be thought of in “those” terms. I told her she was not alone. Many people, maybe you, feel uncomfortable about promoting themselves, whether that’s in person, on the blog, Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. It’s okay to talk about others and share their successes, but we downplay our own. Why? I think it is because you are not ready to step into your own power.

You have gifts that others don’t have. And, I know that you want to share those gifts. That is why you started your creative arts business. You need to share your successes so others can learn about you so that you are able to serve them. It is really about providing a service to your customers, and you cannot do that if you hide your talents.

How do you get beyond this? Here are a few ideas.

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Evening rituals complete your day

Wednesday, August 9th, 2017

Some time ago I wrote about the power of morning rituals, and how they set you up for success.  Evening rituals can be just as powerful to end your day. They add a sense of completion, build confidence, and set you up for the next day. If you think about it, your evening rituals can have a significant impact on how your next day goes. A good evening can translate into a good morning. Unfortunately, a bad evening often leads to a not-so-good next day.

I think of rituals as mindful practices that you make that can be come habits. I have evening habits, or rituals, that make a difference. And, when I feel off one day, I can often trace the cause to the previous evening.

Here are some rituals to consider.

Review your day.

Take time to look back on the day and see what worked for you. At the end of his day, Benjamin Franklin asked himself “What good have I done today?” It was a follow up to his morning question of “What good shall I do this day?”

Consider what you learned. It’s not always something specific to a task, like a new way to use the software you just purchased or a shortcut to one of your art techniques. It could also be something that you learned about yourself.

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Do Your Survival Skills Still Work?

Wednesday, May 17th, 2017

Recently I was talking with a long-time friend about some changes we had each made in our lives, both personally and professionally. During the conversation I noted that I was giving up some of my survival skills. You know, the ones that have been in place forever and that can operate on auto-pilot, whether you need them or not.

You might wonder what I mean by “survival skills.” I am referring to a way of being that has served you in the past that may no longer be serving you. Examples might be perfectionism, procrastination, shying away from confrontation, or not tooting your own horn.  

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Can’t Choose Between Thai and Italian for dinner?

Wednesday, February 15th, 2017

 

Last week one of my clients was talking about how worn out she was from making decisions. The decisions themselves might seem small to you. Cathy had to decide between frames for her latest pieces of art, choose a brand of paints to use with a new project, find a photographer to shoot headshots for her website, set a time for an appointment for a potential gallery showing, and consider whether or not to book time for an art retreat. Now it was time to choose an outfit for her gallery opening.

Cathy had made lots of decisions and wasn’t ready to make another. She told me she was opting for an old outfit from the back of her closet. It didn’t fit that well and didn’t showcase her artistic brand in its best light. She said that she just didn’t have the energy to go the store and get something special to wear.

Seems kind of silly on the surface. She had made what we might think of as everyday decisions for her business. The final decision about her outfit was an important decision in her ongoing quest to build a brand, yet she was stuck. I told her she was likely suffering from decision fatigue.

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Be Like Seinfeld!

Wednesday, January 18th, 2017

This Monday was Blue Monday, the third Monday in January. It goes back to a campaign created by Sky Travel in 2005. It’s the day you realize that you need to take action. It is a pseudo-scientific calculation that considers weather conditions, debt level (the difference between debt accumulated and our ability to pay), time since Christmas, time since failing your New Year’s resolutions, low motivational levels and feeling of a need to take action.

We all know the science of Blue Monday is dubious. Yet early in the year many lose their motivation with New Years’ goals. If you are in that space, wondering how to get back on track with the goals you set, creating habits may be the answer. Often people set goals without really looking at what is required to achieve them. (Anyone start a diet on January 1?)

I’ve read that as many as 25 percent of people give up their resolutions by the first week in January. Habits or rituals can be the answer to reach those goals. Habits can be negative, such as smoking, or positive, such as getting adequate exercise.

Some specific ideas on creating habits that can lead to success, plus a couple of easy examples that you might try to follow, can be found as you read on.

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