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Posts Tagged ‘perfectionism’

Hello Imperfection!

Wednesday, October 25th, 2017

The other day I read this quote from Zen Monk Shunryu Suzuki: “You are perfect just as you are, and you could use a little improvement.” I hesitate to say that the quote struck me as “perfect.” Some of us spend too much time worrying about getting it perfect that we don’t get it done. I’m putting myself in this category as a recovering perfectionist. How about you?

The problem with perfectionism

At first glance, you may think that everything needs to be perfect, that you need to be perfect. And if it’s not perfect, you may put off releasing that new pattern, offering the new program, publishing your website, showing your art. This list goes on and on. And, you get so caught up in this spiral of trying to make everything perfect that nothing gets done. That’s the problem with perfectionism — it doesn’t work.

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Moving Past Stuckedness

Wednesday, July 20th, 2016

stuckedness

Have you ever had so much on your plate that you’re stuck with where to start? I know I have. Last week I started thinking about all the ideas I have to grow ICAP. There is the weekly blog/ezine, the monthly coaching and interview calls, and some content that is already planned to write. Then there is book in progress, the podcast in the works, and the work I want to have happen in our Facebook groups. Wait, I forgot about the webinar I am creating. I know I can look at the my projects and figure out which to pick first, so overwhelm is not the problem.

It really is about uncertainty and where to start or how to move forward on the one project. And, if you are like me, having so much to sort through can keep you stuck. You end up studying the issue to death, over-thinking it, over-revising it, and, yes, staying stuck. I think a good term for this in my case might be analysis-paralysis.

Does this sound familiar? What is the solution?

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How Are Your Survival Skills?

Wednesday, June 25th, 2014

small__5773915337Earlier this week I was talking with a long-time friend about some changes we had each made in our lives, both personally and professionally. During the conversation I noted that I was giving up some of my survival skills. You know, the ones that have been in place forever and that can operate on auto-pilot, whether you need them or not.

You might wonder what I mean by “survival skills.” I am referring to a way of being that has served us in the past. One example for me would be perfectionism. I am sure you have several, too.

Why do we hang onto these? One reason is our ego. We do not want anything to interfere with how we perceive ourselves, or how we think others perceive us. We want to protect our ego. Problem is that while these “skills” worked for us in the past, we don’t consider whether they still serve us today. And, in many cases, they do not.

As entrepreneurs, we don’t generally have the freedom to have someone else give us feedback. When you have someone helping you, whether that is a mentor, coach, supervisor, you can get a different perspective, a view to see how you are functioning – or not.  What happens as entrepreneurs is that we can get caught up in the ego-driven world and can get stuck. And if we do not take the time to look at those “survival skills,” we can stay stuck and our businesses do not grow.

We all need that mirror that lets us to see what survival skills we need to give up. That mirror can be hard to find, so try to spend time reflecting on what could be holding you back. Take time to journal. If you have a good friend or mentor, ask her with an open mind on what her feedback will be.

Lastly ask yourself, “What is the payoff?” If I am having a hard time letting something go, I need to figure out what is good about hanging onto it. This really lets me have clarity about the issue.

When I started reflecting on some of my survival skills that I am letting go and the resistance I had around a few, I was reminded of the quote from  author Anais Nin, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

My question to you is, What “survival skills” are you holding onto?

photo credit: mfhiatt via photopin cc

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